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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, hipponotic. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 974.51.606.44 *** hipponotic has joined 974.51.606.44 <hipponotic> This is Yuya Sakaki! (*^.^*) | ||||
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, hipponotic. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 974.51.606.44 *** hipponotic has joined 974.51.606.44 <hipponotic> This is Yuya Sakaki! (*^.^*) | ||||
U THOUGHT U'D SEEN THE LAST OF ME
She hates feeling like this.
There's moments, seconds, a taffy-pull stretch of silence from Yuya's last word to her first; her face is flushed, and her heart beats like a damaged clock, too loud and too hard against her ribs. She exhales. She closes her eyes.
Explanations and apologies clog her throat as thick as her tears; there's too much to say. ]
I...
[ In, and out; she forces her hands to rest on her knees. She keeps her eyes closed. She wishes, more than anything, that she could reach over for Yuya's hand, to lean against his shoulder when she still feels so close to crumbling, but her body burns too hot. What tears still escape past her lashes can't even reach her chin before they vanish into mist. She doesn't want to hurt him... ]
I'm sorry, Yuya... I never...
[ A breath, claws pressing against her kneecaps. ]
I know I've messed up a lot. I've done a lot of things wrong. You've gotten the worst of me... I never meant to be... like that. Patronizing.
[ Her eyes slit open a little; she glances at Yuya, but she can't make out his expression at all, vision blurred by wetness. ]
We're all suffering, and we don't agree about the right way to fight it, but... it's not because I don't believe in you, Yuya.
no subject
...I know. That was a pretty long time ago.
[The point wasn't that he still believed those things about her. Only that he never told Yusei anything different after that, so he could have the wrong idea... but, despite how things turned out, learning that Yuzu probably had feelings for him had lessened those anxieties a little. Granted, he was never completely sure. You Show's pacifistic principles are so deeply tied to his identity that he couldn't help but feel like disregarding them was the exact same thing as disregarding him, personally. It would take constant self reminders that it wasn't, but he's tried hard to do that for the sake of repairing their relationship.]
It's good to hear, but anyway you don't have to worry about that. Okay?
no subject
[ It takes some of the tension out of her. It was hard enough to endure Yusei throwing their whole friendship in her face like this, but fighting with Yuya again, or losing him outright... she'd rather endure Yusei's anger a dozen times over.
Not that she really wanted to endure that in the first place, but she couldn't abide by what his fatalistic, hopeless perspective demanded.
She takes another breath, trying to blink through tears—before giving up on that, withdrawing a borrowed handkerchief to scrub the rest out of her eyes. ]
Sorry. I didn't mean to... start blubbering through it on you like that.
no subject
[Hmm. Well, that flimsy handkerchief doesn't look like it's getting burned... her heat must have gone down too, then.
That means he can finally do what he's wanted to do for a long time. Reach out, and hug her tight.]
Everything will be fine. I promise.
no subject
[ At touch, her heat dials down further; never quite low enough to be mistaken for a healthy human's temperature, but now it only seems like fever, rather than the billowing heat from an open oven. Her arms settle against his back, chin to his shoulder. Like always, he's cold...
She closes her eyes, relaxing. Even like that, it's still Yuya. Everything will be fine. ]
no subject